Stepping out of Babylon

So my meditation didnt’t really go as I wanted it to go.
I won’t go that much into details, but I gotta say even thou I lasted only a couple of days I learned a lot!
I am back at Chiang Mai now with a fever of 38 celcius and two knees that hurt like hell. That was my major concern when I entered the retreat; Would my damaged knees be able to handle approximately 10 hours of meditation per day? Turns out I wasn’t mentally strong enough to endure the pain in my knees and yesterday my fever spiked to 38,5 during the afternoon so I panicked and decided to leave the retreat.

When I made the decision to leave I felt sad and dissappointed in myself, but after a chat with the head monk, I didn’t feel that way anymore. I learned alot about myself in just two days and I will try to practice meditation in my normal life. I strongly recommend that everybody tries to meditate and take part in these meditation retreats, who knows perhaps I will go to one some day.

But now is not the time for sadness, I have almost three weeks free in my schedule and there’s much to see in this beautiful world we live in.
Who knows where I will find myself next week?

People always say that travelling makes you more open minded, it sounds like a cliche but it’s one hundred percent true. During these four months I’ve experienced so much that I feel like a changed man.
Beginning of this trip I wouldn’t really call myself a spiritual guy, I mean I had been reading Dalai Lama’s books and reading about buddhism and done some meditation, but not really for spiritual reasons, more from curiosity I’d say. Things changed quickly when I got into India and especially Rishikesh. It’s very hard to explain what happened, but one day I woke up in the morning and I needed to know more about buddhism. Now after being four months away from my daily life, I feel a lot happier than I have ever felt. Most of it comes from this awesome time I’ve spent travelling, but the things I’ve learned from buddhist books really enhance my experience and hopefully they will enhance my life in Finland when I eventually return to my lovely country.
I’ve known in my heart for a couple of months the next important thing to do in my life: Step in to an buddhist meditation center. We have a lot to learn from buddhism, I’m not talking necessarily from a religious point of view, but atleast from a spiritual and philosophical point of view.
This is the number one reason I came to Chiang Mai, Thailand. And starting on this thursday (may 10th) I’ll spend the next 21 days meditating. It is a scary thought, I won’t lie to you I am scared but at the same time I’m very happy about this. We’ll see how it goes, my only concerns really are that how will my bad knees and my bad back handle the some ten hours of meditating, time will tell. It’ll be very interesting.

See you at the end of the month, or perhaps earlier if I don’t manage to stay the whole 21 day course.

Peace and love my friends
iikka